The Turks from Final Fantasy VII rated by How much would you enjoy/hate working with them?

Sun 09 November 2025

"A pro isn't someone who sacrifices himself for his job. That's just a fool." —Reno, Final Fantasy VII

The world of Final Fantasy VII is a land of contrast. There is class as well as colonial war, boundless consumerism, hunger, poverty and eco-terrorism. What there is also is a healthy display of modern wage labour, especially in the Remake series embodied in the character of the Shinra manager (no name needed). But even the original already had a good showing of corporate self-identity in the form of regular antagonist group, the Turks.

Yes, we all know that the Turks are a horrible blend of the CIA and the Yakuza, dealing in kidnappings, torture and killings, including destroying an entire city (-plate, a part of Midgar, killing thousands above and below it). But also, they are the only group of coworkers in a world run by a mega corporation that we see interacting with each other over the course of the games. This gives us crucial sociological information about corporate social behaviours in the world of Final Fantasy VII. It's also fun thinking about having to deal with them at company meetings.

So, in the hopes of filling a gaping hole in the reception of the Final Fantasy VII universe, I rank the known Turks by how much I (and so by extension you) would be able to enjoy working with them. Starting with the most agreeable colleague up to the worst stinker you'd like to avoid at the coffee machine.

Because we all have them: weird and enjoyable, grumpy and annoying. If it weren't for the people we share our desks with, what would our work-life even be but a miserable pile of paper and materia? So let's see what kind of coworkers our beloved mass-murderers on a payroll would be:

1. Rude

"Just crossing my T's and dotting my I's."​

Meticulous worker with a penchant for unnecessary perfectionism. Doesn't talk much and sticks to himself.

Working with Rude is an overall wonderful experience as he does what he does and he does it well, perhaps too well for his own good but at least it's not reflecting poorly on you. Although he might be a bore to have next to you as he barely glances up and even if he does you wouldn't be able to see his eyes anyway. But make no mistake, once he's warmed up to you he may surprise you with insight and the occasional joke. Rude is also the only Turk shown to have a life outside of being a Turk, so plus points for a good work-life balance!

Verdict: Good coworker.

1. Cissnei

"Right now, I'm not in the mood..."​

Skilled worker who cares not only for her job but also the people around her.

Cissnei is an odd one to rate as a coworker because she is full of contradictions that make her hard to gauge. Her demeanor is almost too sweet and nice for what she does for a living and so you are never quite sure if what she tells you is what she wants to honestly tell you or what she only wants you to think she's telling. Despite her sociable skills she is often found working by herself and so again, you are not entirely sure what it is she is actually working on. Maybe it's the project you two have been working on for weeks, maybe it's her illegitimate side hustle or maybe it's a surprise gift for your upcoming birthday. But whatever Cissnei's deal is, you know that when times are getting rough, she's got your back - even against company policy.

Verdict: Good coworker.

1. Reno

"Looks like today we're clocking out early."​

Hotheaded go-getter. Either going way above what is necessary or not lifting a finger.

Whether you get along with Reno usually depends on the day. If you are lucky you can find him at his desk happily tending to his tasks, but catch him in a bad mood and he will be hanging in your ear, complaining that he isn't properly appreciated and that, generally speaking, everyone else is an idiot anyway. You excluded, of course, but you know that he's only saying that because you are currently the victim of his tantrum. What's worse is that in a very specific way he is kind of right, because whenever he is motivated he does deliver the best work of all your team. It's just annoying that he is all too aware of that and makes sure you are, too.

Verdict: Okay coworker.

1. Vincent Valentine

"I don't care what you're doing, so much as the idiotic way you're doing it."​

Brooding and enigmatic. You barely know him and, truth be told, you barely see him anyway.

Vincent is the kind of coworker that you only ever interact with from afar. Whenever you are getting your coffee refill from the kitchen office he is already leaving, at company meetings he sits as far away as possible from anyone else and he is always the first through the door when the meetings end. When you tried to make contact in your first weeks all you ever got were cryptic sentences that sounded insightful but were mostly just clichés. You know that he is easily the one working the longest in this company and that he easily bears a company inventory sticker somewhere. But whether he actually works here you have no idea. At least he is not harming anyone - unless provoked: rumour has it he used to be quite the monster.

Verdict: Okay coworker.

1. Elena

"Meet Elena, the Turks latest and greatest."​

Pick-me mean girl.

Elena is the type of coworker who seems sociable and likeable at first but who you will sooner or later either come to hate or love (in which case you are likely like her). There is a good chance that when you're new she will be your first official workplace buddy, always going to lunch and meetings together. Only later you realise that she does that with every newcomer so she can analyse their strengths and weaknesses. She likes to gossip and talk shit about the job and your superiors. But don't be fooled into agreeing with her because she just waits for the right moment to use that against you. She is driven, ambitious and willing to throw anything and anyone under the bus if it gives her an edge.

Verdict: Awful coworker.

1. Tseng

"Had we refused, someone else would've completed the task."​

Cold and determined. Cares only for results.

In contrast to the rest of the group, Tseng is not a coworker you ever work with rather someone you work for. Even when he is not actually your superior Tseng will position himself as the one you run things by. He is the very definition of middle management, at least all the bad parts. He will make sure that you work hard and - above all - that whatever you do doesn't reflect badly on him. Tseng is the kind of coworker who would propose you take a step back and take care of yourself, only to use that as an opportunity to advance his own goals. All he cares for is to look meticulous in front of his superiors without a care for the methods used to achieve that.

Verdict: Awful coworker.

fin